Sunday, June 27, 2010

Thing's That I Can't Avoid in My Life!

I am here just to speak out some of the things that I have been keeping to myself for a very long time. There are so many times that I would be wondering what is coming in the present and future. Even now I can't really expect anything to happen. Frankly, I am in a big dilemma. Everyday I kept thinking about this... Did I really made a mistake leaving Sabah? Then another mistake leaving Singapore? Is it a mistake as well for me to stay and work in Kuala Lumpur? Should I go back to Singapore? Or Sabah? Or just go back and stay with my parents? I can't deny that staying with my own parents will be a better choice. Since I can take care of my parents and they can take care of me, cook for me, do my laundry, cover my body with blanket when I am sleeping night. It's so good to be close to them.



I miss those days where I always hang out with my dad for football matches, supper or even go clubbing. When I was very young probably 7-8 years old, my dad already brought me to clubs. Everything is so clear until this very moment. If you are reading this, I know that you will be asking why on earth a dad would bring his kid to clubs when he's still very young? Well guess what? It is better to do so compare to those young teenagers who were only 17 or 18 years old who go clubs with his/her friends who their parents did not trust. At least I am well exposed to the environment and my dad was taking care of me. Plus it did not effect my lifestyle in the sense I'm a non-smoker and not a heavy drinker. I do enjoy drinking cause it lets my body and mind to relax and enjoy chilling with friends. Anyway, drinking in KL is not really a good idea, maybe for those people who can afford and I'm not one of them. It's not saying that I am able pay for my alcohol or not but to think about it, I rather spend my money on food rather than alcohol.

Back to the dilemma I'm having, I personally think I should be perspired to continue my life in KL. Maybe for a few years more? I like the place I'm staying now, the people I'm working now, the boss who hired me and the friends around me. Although I do have people who keep discouraging me with what I am doing now especially my close relatives but I tell you what? Someday I'm going to achieve my goal and proof to you that you are wrong! Certificates, degree, PHD or master is nothing if you don't have a heart in what you are doing it means zero, 'kosong', nil! I am 100% passionate with what I am doing now... So I'm gonna exposed it today. To a blogger friend that I know for a year plus, Vialentino, I promised that I would tell you this a few months ago and here goes... 

I quit my job as a Project Coordinator in Singapore as I am very passionate in pursuing my career in photography and I know that competing in Singapore in this field will be very tough and I just got started to be serious in photography for only 2 years. So here am I working as a junior photographer in a photography studio, just recently. Nevertheless time does not matter, most important is the technique and skills. I really wanna learn and gain more experience in KL but a few of my friends and relatives would be questioning me instead of giving me morale support. Okay, seriously life as a photographer is not stable and sometimes there's a lot down compare to up... but that's life right? If there's no challenge or problem in life, won't it be like a white piece of paper with black ink on it? I rather have colorful ink in that white piece of paper. I am sure most of you heard of flying colors results.... it means good results and it's flying with lots of colors... :) Maybe you don't really understand what I mean but I want to go through a life which I love what I am doing... I don't want to be a robot. Goes to work at 8am and finish at 5pm... do the same thing over and over again. Can't voice out any idea or own opinion. Don't have any space for me to apply my creativity... that's a life of a robot. Seriously! Do you want that? Not for me... I want a life where I look up upon myself and I don't care what people say. Money minded... yes, money is very important but can money buy respect and love? People respect you because you can earn a lot of money or because they wanna get close to you? I know some people who are rich and people too respect them that they don't dare to scold or comment them at anything, but once they are treated like that, they will run away from that circle of people. Rich people will always have the mentality that they are rich and they can change anything they like in their life. They can switch job, move to new house, buy whatever they want and even stop attending church whenever they want. Is that what you call as being responsible? 


I really understand what is it like to do things you are passionate at, a lot of people will discourage you even they are your family or best friend. I use to discourage my ex-girlfriend too but now I am one myself. Now she's having difficulty in finding a job, I really do understand that! But now I am no longer throwing negative thoughts to her cause I know living your life doing things that you passionate about takes time. I do wish that she will get a job soon...
I know if I oversee all the things that I have done, life in Singapore was really stressful. Still I get to know a lot of good brothers and sisters in Christ and also meet up with Singapore bloggers. They are indeed really friendly, and they don't really have the 'kiasu' spirit. When you live in Singapore, you will automatically be 'kiasu' cause you are tempted in so many things in Singapore and it's not expensive when you earning Singapore dollars. But among all the 'kiasu' people there, they are not bad and selfish. Most of them are friendly and willing to help but seriously they are very 'kiasu' especially the elders when it comes to free stuff! :D


To conclude my dilemma ( which I am still under it until this very moment T.T ), I think I will just proceed my life in KL until the time comes. I don't know when but I'll just let it be. I know even though if I fail again, I can still turn back... Dare to fail and make a necessary U-turn. Plus, I still have friends who wants me to go back to my hometown, friends who can't wait to see me in Singapore and also parents who long for their only son back there. I am proud being me, having a high self-esteem is always good but at the same time I am trying to be humble because I acknowledge myself for being a 'kampung guy' although I stay in the town area for almost my whole life. I will keep looking forward to see myself in future and also thanks all for the support! I hope to read more good stories from each one of you!

Stay healthy and God bless....


-PEACE-

P/s: I am organizing a photo shooting for bloggers next month, anyone interested? 
Do drop a few words in my comment box. 
Thanks!